The Brilliancy Coming

Are we creating the structures (particles, laws of nature) we are discovering through the process of inventing the science related to the structure under construction? Are physical structures of any sort, molecular/biological/chemical/physical/ extant (precede us in having a verifiable ontological reality)... before we ourselves are in existence, existing? We uncover through computation and mathematics an intelligent/objective/consistent language. One cannot speak of it in words per se, it is non-descriptive of :experiences:. It is more fundamental than the realm of personal consciousness. Perhaps, mathematics is proof we truly are a unity rather than a chaos in terms of our existential deductions. Science may be seen to inherently promulgate a certain nihilism because of naively evaluative conclusions one could reach philosophically based upon popular conception of facts; however, in reality it demonstrates merely that life is infinitely experiencing evolution of novel levels of complexity and that it has never began and will never cease.

Life just gets drab sometimes. In other infinite spots in the infinite territory of infinity, souls are in infinite nirvana, others probably wage wars on interplanetary scale. For Christ's sake, there are 30 supernovae happening every second in the known universe, an expanse of nearly 14billion light years? Were all in our own worlds, and our worlds are often in contact, and from these interference patterns social society is created.

But if this were true^^ we have existed for eternity and simply are intelligent energy evolving new more complicated forms, we then seem to be no more than eternal spiritual energy which internally is literally composed of thoughts and memory, and externally by present moment visceral experience later translated and memorized (thus undergoing a process of internalization)?

If we have always existed than there has to be an experience which preceded the always-existence. A pre-experiential externality which was internalized into always existing. What was this pre-experiential externality? I do not believe it is "God" as religious westerners often witlessly banter about online and in public. I do not believe "God" /understood as a personally intelligent supra-being /exists. I believe rather existence is but a part of god on an infinite level of series of scale, and the position of macro and micro in relation to increasing and decreasing size measurements is merely relative to ones own position. God is fractal. We are fractal. Knowledge is fractal.

Nothing is sure. The unknown for humanity is the only choice. The ruins of the world will lie behind us. Directly ahead- a penetrable lack-of-knowledge, a kind of new "aha that makes so much sense" moment after acceptance of reality. We will step off the green screen and realize the green screen and audience. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4L2XirSJw0

Ramblz

The first convention of the  global occupation assembly over a course of months reaches the issue of the calendar.

Shall the eradicated national borders still demarcate Gregorian from Buddha?

Inches, feet, yards. Done away with.

And, as typical in socio-political behavior, the only solution is for everyone to compromise.

This global government must represent and exist strictly for the citizens of Earth. It must be in charge of the global production of goods as well as having the consent of the Earth population to pursue activities occurring on the global scale.

It will be a decentralized web of supercomputers which analyze data and more or less replace the arbitrary political process with actions arrived at scientifically and thus, reliable. Through the use of objective and highly efficient technology it will be impossible for corruption to occur.

Political agendas will no longer be catalyzed by the ulterior motives of profit, self-aggrandizement, or ideological crusades.  We will ask a question, and receive a reliable scientific solution. If you doubt this is possible, it is because you probably do not believe people are capable of building machines powerful enough to obsolete the needs behind the “necessity of government”.

Humanity is that brilliant. We will be seen as self-victimized: we ignore our slavery to social control systems, scientists bewail physical determinism, we aren’t doing anything AT ALL about climate control, and when disaster does strike (which if you are paying attention you know is absolutely inevitable and highly possible to happen in the lifetimes of those in their twenties and below), well blame our humanity.

Well have to
look one another in the eye
and apologize for contributing, in knowledge of the consequences,
to the causes of  disasters which will claim untold numbers of lives.

A splinter of murderer nestled in our muscle tissue like a tomb/tumor-
encasted by a ceaseless overcast of fog…The hills and the hills’ shadows intermingle
and sometimes through the fog appears the shadow of a burning forest
or an acidic raincloud.

Babies whipped out of their mothers’ desperate grasp
by the blunt force of wind, and sand.
1byt of the gusto in that gale was contributed by you.
Your hands are washed when it comes to who to blame.  

As it Stands: Mind, Part I

*Yawn* really, this information is absolutely non-pertinent to everybody (excluding myself). In this blog I am going to attempt a brief compilation of goal oriented progress-goals more less I have been pursuing or claiming to pursue since my freshman year of college.

I will do this by categorizing the particular goals into the three 'compartments' of a whole person:
Mind
Body
Soul
**

Mind:



^^That word looks particularly foreign right now, like I am looking at an isolated example of German: seeing only the signifier and failing to 'grok' the signified. *few moments of blank staring pass* Ah, that's better.

I came to a rather terrifying but necessary realization the other day. From January 2011-June '11, I inundated my mind/consciousness with nothing but depressants                        constantly.     constantly

-"What can I get you *bartender brushes hair out of eyes which say 'plz hurry the fuck up'*?"
(club music)

"Tokyo ice tea"

"*pivots/grabs two bottles* you got it" 

"Thanks, keep it open"-

I understand the psychological drives within me which allowed such self-destructive behavior, at the time I didn't, I was in the midst of the most penetrating existential angst I have ever experienced, and truly and honestly doubt I will experience again on such a formative level.
The pain of existence reached intolerable levels. Alcohol numbed it. Compulsive thought numbed it.
I numbed myself with beats and sex and booze and clothes.

                                      It was perhaps my most..American moment.

Once the solar explosion of my psyche had defeated the gravity of reason and sent me on my near light speed grand tour of 'american trash', oh by god it got even more trashy.

From June 2011-January '12, I (sound familiar yet) inundated my mind/consciousness with nothing but
stimulants                  constantly       con-stant-ly

No paraphrased dialogue here, it's rather traumatically vulgar. I had put myself into a state of perpetual micro-sleep with alcohol and weed, I was getting the occasional painkiller (like a hershey's kiss), and spent identical idle spring/summer days dreaming of foreign chronotopes  and seemingly happier real life scenarios.

I needed to wake up.             Stimulants woke me up. I was startled awake by the sound of my neurons cheering for the flood of dopamine erupting my ionic channels. 

I will not elaborate on what I experienced on stimulants. The memories are still rather repressed and too fresh to look upon with introspection and wisdom.

Annnnnyway, here I am now.

As I hope ^^ makes semi-clear, my mind has been unbalanced for a full spin around the sun. I am correcting my mental trajectory with the use of bupropion. 

In respect to goals related to the mental arena of my life, they are immaculately married to my emotional aspirations. I realize that I probably spend at least eight hours of my time awake doing nothing but
thinking. It never stops. It continues on and on. It is a river from which I watch the gleam of the sun's radiance and duly note the occasional traveling debris.

It is difficult and immature to capitalize abstract thought, thought so disregarded and abandoned in our intellectually measly epoch. I do not care for money or whoring my mind to the corporatocracy: like the advertisement psychologists and business majors. Rather, I have developed a plan. The dust is still clearing from the construction so please disregard its rudimentary outlining.

WRITEWRITEWRITEWRITEWRITEWRITEWRITE.
poetry, fiction, non-fiction, philosophy, literary theory, reviews, blogs, tweets, meditations, aphorisms, critiques.   I want to write in a way that past hermeneutic scholars referred to as 'secular scripture'.

That is my plan. I will use the pen name 'CodyKo Diac' which has taken on more significance in my life than my inherently Western and personally irrelevant Christian name of 'Cody Carpenter', a name I was branded with involuntarily, a name too replete with adventurer and cowboy/rockstar allusions.

My mom always wanted me to be a rock star and a cowboy. She wanted me to be a free man.

I will be a free man. Once I am free, I will help liberate others from this historical spell.
I'll still be a rock star, just a more adulterated version than she imagined ten years before the turn of the millennium, before the ball dropped and the world began to explode, eleven years before I exploded and pieced myself back together.

It's time to piece the world back together so I can be whole. I will assist this process through the writing of radical and novel literary texts.

In order to accomplish such a grandiose plan, I must learn to balance myself to the utmost degree of perfection. I am far from accomplishing this. I have made immense progress in this regard in the past few weeks, which will be the subject(s) of Part II and III.

Anyhow, this is where I stand mentally. Perhaps I am rather insane, but I am more in control of my mind than most anyone I know. There is a substantial amount of difference between control of oneself in its entirety and the illusion of control, which in reality is but the direct experience of a flattened, boring, self-righteous ego. Perhaps I am an egomaniac or (equally likely) rather egoless, perhaps my rather repetitious references to the evils of egotistical thought is but the projection of my own introverted narcissism....

Nah.